Silently in my inner home, the pounding of my heart,
the chirping of a bird, the murmur of the wind whisking by my face,
pulling and pushing the thinned strands of my grey hair.
A symphony of sounds pierces my inner home, the sounds of cars, a high flying plane, and children playing in my neighbor’s yard.
I am seeking to silence my inner voice, quiet and forgetful.
My restless inner voice, recalling the remote past, the regrets, the mistakes,
and many lost opportunities.
I see their faces in my inner home, their laughs, their pain and sacrifices.
Sorry Mom, sorry Dad, I did not tell you I love you.
The hardest thing about saying goodbye is leaving friends behind.
The time and space we shared, as brief and small as it was, was a home away from the place we all call home.
We saw and shared good and bad memories, people we knew,
Tools we used, the space we called office,
a cage, a prison, an empty space, devoid of human soul.
How time, just a wink, passed between the hello and this goodbye.
We just met, but now I say goodbye.
The hardest emotion is to leave you behind.
I learn from my mistakes. A successful life is a continuum of losses followed by corrections, all along staying on the path to the desired objective. Failure could be a great teacher for succeeding if you would not repeat the same process again.
If you don’t take calculated risk, you will never succeed.
“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” – Bill Gates
My parents did not tell me anything about themselves or the family. They wrote: “Oh, everything is good and we are happy and well” I later found out they were not well, not everything was OK and my favorite aunt had died sometimes ago. I did the same thing to them. I never told them about my problems. We both lied to each other.
Was that OK? I wish I would have shared more of my life and they would have shared more of their life. I missed a great deal of life not knowing about them. I am sorry for not being closer to them; a 7000 miles was too far to arrange a monthly trip while going to school.
One step, tentative, searching, going in,
Feeling happy and then sad;
Where to and why?
One step closer, or further away;
Hoping my happiness shines my inner sadness.
Hoping my sadness tempers my confidence;
Slow, tentative, reaching closer to my wish,
Wish not to be lost forever.
Things familiar, but longtime forgotten.
Forces shaped in the past, Piercing my inner turbulence;
Yes, feeling happy now, but sad again!
My inner desires searching for calm waters.
I search, tentative steps, hoping for inner peace.